"What that chap had done was empower me to make a decision rather than just taking the order and letting me stew in the garden for the best part of an hour."
I want to say a sincere thank you to the barman who told me I was going to have to wait '40 minutes...no hang on 50 minutes' for my pub meal the other day.
I'm not even being sarcastic, even though this is longer than I would normally like to hang around hungry.
He gave me this information while looking at a screen, presumably keeping note of what was going in and out of the kitchen, just as I was about to order my food.
It had been a long day at Peppa Pig World (I have kids and I was on holiday just in case you were wondering why exactly I was spending my time there) and, great parents that we are, we thought it would be best to stuff the kids' faces with chips, nuggets and Fruit Shoot before heading home for the day.
The only thing was that we were not the only parents who thought it would be wise to stop off at the first pub between the exit gates and the motorway.
So when the barman told me there was going to be a long wait I can't say I was overly surprised and, despite a slight feeling of disappointment at the length of time it was going to take, I still decided it would be better to stick than to go to the next pub or find some really unhealthy food at a motorway service station.
What that chap had done was empower me to make a decision rather than just taking the order and letting me stew in the garden for the best part of an hour, while simultaneously wondering where the hell my food was while trying to drag my kids off the garden ornaments that were specifically signed 'Not for Climbing'.
This meant I knew exactly how long I needed to be patient for before I would be within my rights to inquire as to 'where the heck is my food - you said it would be 50 minutes and that was an hour ago!'
So with one eye on the clock, another on the diners getting served before me and another on my kids running towards the car park (I don't actually have three eyes but I made my two work extra hard) I waited for my meal.
And precisely 48 minutes after I had placed my order it was presented at my table without anyone who had ordered being served before me.
This was efficient and precise which meant I was a happy customer before I had even had a bite to eat.
The food was great too, it must have been because even those harshest of critics ate the lot. Within 15 minutes of leaving the pub car park, the kids, sated and shattered, (strange names, I know) fell asleep for the remainder of the journey.
Which left me to conclude that pub visits are probably an essential element of modern day parenting.