We asked our secret panel of licensees for the best excuses they have had from staff struggling to make it in to work on time. Here they are...


1. I'm not really late
A ballsy attempt at pulling the wool over a licensee's eyes — even though the clock on the wall revealed the truth.

2. Pushing his luck
A chef failed to turn up for a busy shift because he was through to the next round of a poker tournament. He lost his hand and his job.

3. The naked truth
"There's been a power cut at the launderette and I've not got any clothes." Maybe not, but whoever tried this one definitely had a bare-faced cheek.

4. No wheels
"My car share didn't show up." "Can't you use your own car?" Silence. Click. Silence. "....Hello?"

5. I've been bitten by a badger
This was the outright fib that one staff member came up with. The licensee either believed it or admired the audacity of the tale, because it was never

6. The morning after
"I'm stuck in a hotel room.""Can't you call the concierge?" "No, I'm with his girlfriend." Awkward, as the younger generation might say.

7. Traffic jam
One licensee had to smile when he received the following text from a team member. "Stuck in traffic. Be there in 10. If not, read again."

8. Would you rather I was scruffy?
"I'm late because I had to have a shower and a shave to look presentable for our customers". Obviously you should look smart for work, just get up earlier!

9. Sensible dad
One licensee recalls a female member of staff explaining why she was 10 minutes late: "I got to the top of the stairs and my dad took one look at me and told me that he knew the men who drank in the pub and that I couldn't wear such a short skirt to work behind the bar." The licensee was not impressed.

10. The one they can never use
"I'm hungover". Even trying it on should result in instant dismissal!