St Patrick's Day is almost upon us (17 March) but what of the other Saints days we could be celebrating? Here's our 10 suggestions...
1. Saint Mungo Day
Perhaps best known for being the Patron Saint of Glasgow, St Mungo – or St Kentigern, as he is also known – can claim to be the Patron Saint of those accused of infidelity.
Not entirely sure how we can celebrate this exactly, a bogof offer on drinks perhaps? A have-your-cake-and-eat-it pudding on the menu?
2. St Scholastica Day
God's got his hands pretty full, yeah? He doesn't have time for every prayer asking for help with each little crush or latest case of genital warts, so the Church has created Saints with a range of expertise, such as old St Scholastica here, the patron Saint of rainstorms.
Handy, should you ever need to invoke a flood.
3. Saint Valentine's Day
Given that this particular Saint has become something of a cash cow for the hospitality and card industries alike, may I suggest we don't limit ourselves to a mere one celebration per year? There are in fact about a dozen Saint Valentines on the books (it was a popular name between the second and eighth centuries AD). Thus we could go for St. Valentine of Viterbo on 3 November, St. Valentine of Raetia on 7 January or the only lady St Valentine (Valentina) on 25 July, to name but a few.
4. Saint Polycarp Day
Talking of useful Saints, we include Polycarp in the list, not just because of that truly awesome name, but because this is your port of call should you ever have earache or dysentery.
It's not the most glamorous of the patronages, for sure, but someone's got to do it.
5. Saint Helena Day
Old Helena began life as an innkeeper or stable maid but she married rather well, giving birth to a future emperor.
She is not, however, the patron of prodigious offspring, oh no. Having been divorced by her bounder of a husband, she never remarried and has gone down in history as the Patron Saint of difficult marriages and divorced people. Life's a bitch.
6. Benedict of Nursia day
What do you fancy celebrating on this day? Take your pick - we've included this chap due to the sheer volume of things of which he is patron.
You could raise a glass to farmers, civil engineers, Italian architects, cavers, schoolchildren, dying people, monks, or servants who have broken their master's belongings - and that's just what we've got space for.
7. Saint Augustine of Hippo Day
Arguably the most rock n roll of all the Saints (he has been commemorated in Sting and Bob Dylan tracks), his inclusion here is down to his position as the Patron Saint of brewers.
To be fair he's not the only one but, having got the gig due to his conversion from a life of wild partying and loose living, he's definitely our favourite.
8. Saint Denis Day
As a bunch of people who spend a lot of time in the pub it is fair to say sometimes we wake up with a little pain in the temples, know what I'm saying?
So this is our guy, St Denis, the Patron Saint of headaches, having himself suffered the mother of all migraines when he was beheaded with a sword.
Pass the Nurofen, please.
9. Martin de Porres Day
This is our man in heaven, our dude, our key to the pearly gates: Saint Martin, the Patron Saint of innkeepers everywhere.
He wasn't exactly what you'd expect to represent us in eternal paradise, given that he maintained an austere lifestyle, was a vegetarian and frequently fasted but he also represents hair-stylists, so at least we'll have a good barnet in the ever after.
10. Saint Ambrose Day
Legend has it that a swarm of bees landed on baby Ambrose's face one day as he lay in his crib, leaving behind a drop of honey. The episode means that Ambrose is now the Patron Saint of beekeepers and bees, as well as candle makers and wax refiners but also, erm, the French Commissariat.
We don't know what that has to do with bees either.
And not to forget St Patrick himself, here's our guide to making the most of Paddy's Day here.