You ready for St George's Day? Yup, raring to go. Erm, when is it again?
Crickey, not you as well. According to the British Future organisation more English people know the date of US Independence Day than St George's Day. Oh dear, that's a bit rum. It's sometime soon, right?
23 April. I'll be ready to, you know, do whatever it is one does on St George's Day.
Well, that's the problem really isn't it, no one does anything for our national day. It's no St Patrick's Day I'll agree. What do you suggest?
Pull up a barstool, pour a pint of cask ale and tuck into some Lahmacun? I beg your pardon?
It's a traditional Turkish dish, to celebrate where good old George was born. That's too adventurous for me, I'm British, after all. How about a making it a Bank Holiday so we can make the most of the great British tradition of going to the pub?
It's not a new idea, those brewers at Bombardier beer ran a campaign as far back as 2001 to try and make it so. Without success clearly.
Not entirely, the idea of a St George's Day bank holiday has been mooted in the House of Commons every year since 2006.
And yet still no dice?
The Centre for Economic and Business Research estimates that each bank holiday costs the UK £2.4bn in lost work, so I can't see Gideon sanctioning another one. It is a touch vexing that we can't celebrate such a quintessentially English thing properly.
Not sure about "quintessentially English", St George's Day is also celebrated in Lithuania, Portugal, Germany and Greece, to name but a few. Maybe we could lobby the EU to make it a European-wide holiday?
I'm not sure that's a "quintessentially English" approach. I see what you're saying.
Worth a punt: Promoting proper pub grub and cask beer for a classic English experience, or offer Turkish food and wines for a more authentic celebration of the man himself.
Don't bother with: Slaying a dragon to save a poor maiden, that bit's just a medieval myth.