Ever wondered why the Queen gets two birthdays or what the heck this year's Patron's Lunch is all about? By Royal Decree* our Barstool Expert is here to explain all...

*Not really

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas Queen, Defender of the Faith! Happy birthday to you! And did you manage to remember all that on the big day?

 

What do you mean remember, the big day isn't until June 11? No, her Maj turned 90 on April 21.

 

Well that was her actual birthday, her official birthday is traditionally held on the second Saturday in June. I've never understood why she gets two birthdays.

 

It's to do with the weather. You're kidding me?

 

I'm serious. Since 1748 the Monarch's official birthday has been held in late May or early June, in the hope that there'd be fine weather for Trooping the Colour. That's for the Queen's birthday? I always thought it was something to do with the national obsession with Farrow & Ball paint.

 

Then you are wrong, it is also known as The Queen's Birthday Parade and this year it will be followed on the Sunday with the Patron's Lunch. Luncheon! Sounds more like my thing, where do I need to be?

 

The Mall, along with 10,000 others lucky enough to be invited or get hold of a £150 ticket. I think we both know I haven't got either of those.

 

I did guess but don't lose heart, the idea is that lots of Patron's Lunches will be held all around the country at the same time. Street parties and the like?

 

Yes, and pubs are being urged to get involved too. How?

 

Hosting garden parties, cake sales, British themed quizzes, croquet competitions and so on. Isn't it a bit well, uncouth, to make money from Brenda's 90th?

 

Given pubs are great charity fundraisers, the hope is they'll use the opportunity to raise some cash for good causes. Are you sure people are going to be interested in this, it's not quite Wills and Kate's wedding is it?

 

It is estimated that Britons will spend some £1bn celebrating Lizbet's birthday and a third are planning trips to pubs, bars and street parties already. Cor' blimey, Rule Brittania eh?

 

Worth a punt: Hosting a themed celebration of your own. Pimm's, for example, is sponsoring the event and is giving away thousands of PoS kits.

 

Don't bother with: Sending her some birthday chocolates, it is said they are all destroyed immediately on arrival at Royal HQ, due to the threat of poisoning in any case.