Matt Eley is an Inapub contributor. Follow him on Twitter @mattheweley
'After coffee I wanted to get the bill. Ten minutes later I still wanted to get the bill but alas I was unable to make eye-contact, despite my best neck-stretching and eye-bulging moves.'
'The Scottish licensed trade is starting to feel a whole lot better about itself than it was a few years ago.'
England are there. A World Cup is still a major event without the Three Lions but trade takes a hit like the man in the wall who a receives free kick rocket to the bread basket.
"Too often a pub’s wine offer can consist of an overpriced bottle of house white (that might well be one that goes for under a fiver in a supermarket) that has been stuck in the fridge with the cap off for who knows how long."
‘And it was £1 a shot,’ he added with a smile, admitting that our presence in there was about as welcome as Ryan Giggs offering to introduce your wife to John Terry.
"Great...we all get to talk to our screens rather than meet in a pub, thus taking away the best bit of a launch."
"Let's be clear about one thing, pre-loading is about as original now as guitar music was in the 1990s. It has all been done before, arguably better as well."
"In very basic terms there is a lot more beer and far fewer places to sell it. Something has to give."
And while I have tried to reserve judgement until I have experienced one of these for myself I couldn't help thinking 'well, that does sound a bit shit, doesn't it?'
"As soon as we walked in we knew it was going to be about advertising because there was a man with a cool beard and natty attire with a small dog that got excited when people clapped."